“Millie, come on, sit right here,” says Al, as Butch pulls the table out from the booth.<\/p>\n
“Here’s a good booth,” says Butch, motioning the others to sit down. <\/p>\n
“Fred! Hey, Fred!” says Al. “Where’s your wife, huh? I wanna meet her.”<\/p>\n
“I haven’t been able to find her!” says Fred. “She works in some nightclub here. I’ve been around four or five places looking for her. “<\/p>\n
“Well, we’ll find her, Fred, before this night is out,” says Al. “We’ll deploy our forces and comb the town – – won’t we, Millie?”<\/p>\n
“Oh, by all means,” says Millie, with little enthusiasm. <\/p>\n
“Well, we got the Navy to convoy us! Huh?” says Al, pointing at Homer. Al turns to his wife and daughter. “First, we gotta get one thing straight: Homer lost his hands, he’s got those hooks instead. They don’t worry him, so they shouldn’t worry anybody else. Right, Homer?”<\/p>\n
“Right!” says Homer. <\/p>\n
“Right, now let’s get seriously to work,” says Al. Angus, the waiter, shows up at the table. <\/p>\n
“Telephone, Butch,” says Angus. <\/p>\n
“Thank you,” replies Butch. He turns back to the table. “Give them anything they want,” says Butch to Angus. Then, Butch points at Homer. “Any kind of beer.”<\/p>\n
“What’ll it be, folks?” asks Angus, pulling out a pencil and notepad. <\/p>\n
“Hi, Angus!” says Al, shaking Angus’s hand. <\/p>\n
“Hiya, Sergeant!” replies Angus. <\/p>\n
“Nice to see you,” says Al. “Looking well.”<\/p>\n
“Hello, Captain,” says Angus to Fred. <\/p>\n
“Hi Angus,” says Fred. <\/p>\n
“A little gray in the temples,” says Al.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, yeah,” laughs Angus. <\/p>\n
The night passes with many drinks by Al and Fred. <\/p>\n
“Well,” says Fred, lifting a glass, “Cheahs, Cheahs,” says Fred in a heavy posh accent. <\/p>\n
“Cheas,” repeats Al. <\/p>\n
Butch returns to the table and looks at Homer. “Homer, Homer,” says Butch, cocking his head toward the piano. <\/p>\n
“Okay, Butch, ” says Homer, finishing his beer. <\/p>\n
Al swaps glasses with Millie, who’s barely touched her drink. He leaves Millie with a nearly-empty glass. <\/p>\n
“Aren’t you drinking?” asks Al. Millie looks at the nearly-empty glass she’s been given. <\/p>\n
“Excuse me, folks,” says Homer, standing up.<\/p>\n
“Sure, Homer,” says Fred. <\/p>\n
Butch is at the piano, playing chords. Homer walks up next to the piano.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A half century before Designated Drivers<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":373,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"http:\/\/www.thebestminutes.com\/cm\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/b46038.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"39:47","filesize":"36.64M","date_recorded":"24-02-2021","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"38","itunes_title":"Minute 038: Aren't You Drinking?","itunes_season_number":"1","itunes_episode_type":"full","filesize_raw":"38420211"},"tags":[],"series":[3],"episode_featured_image":"http:\/\/www.thebestminutes.com\/cm\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/r46038.jpg","episode_player_image":"http:\/\/www.thebestminutes.com\/cm\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/b46000-mp3-image.jpg","download_link":"http:\/\/www.thebestminutes.com\/cm\/podcast-download\/788\/minute-038-arent-you-drinking.mp3","player_link":"http:\/\/www.thebestminutes.com\/cm\/podcast-player\/788\/minute-038-arent-you-drinking.mp3","audio_player":"\n